Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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