no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
