She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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