yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
