I think I died a long time ago.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize