I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
