are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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