There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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