i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
