yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
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