Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize