after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
