Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize