p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
