why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
