Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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