Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
