I'm pants shitting drunk right now
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
