I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
