Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
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