she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
