Come see our sink grown plant.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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