i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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