you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We left the knife in your bed.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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