No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
