You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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