when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
