hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You've changed since you got that strap on
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
