A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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