It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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