The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
