This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
