Christians are straight up FREAKS
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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