When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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