I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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