Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
