i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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