Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
