Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize