I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
