It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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