You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
