It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize