Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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