I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
