My friends, they love my intelligence
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
