Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
