I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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