I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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