On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
sarcasm needs its own font
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
