Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
