he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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