i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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