To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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