C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
