Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
