Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
