is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize