I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
