Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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