dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize