I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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