is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
last night I used snow as a chaser
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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