I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
