Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
