She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize