My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
