Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
