Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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