69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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