We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
is it fun? or sober?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
