one might say we're banned from that church
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
