Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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