I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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