if i died would you start the facebook group?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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