Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize