Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
