Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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