lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
