It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
